Monday, November 29, 2010


I love aged pieces; wine, dresses, furniture and, yes, men.  There's nothing like a good ole' silver fox.  Most people would agree that men age better than any woman.  They become more distinguished and self-confident with time.  It's "vintage" week on Meg Made Me Do It. 

The first "experienced" suitor I went out with was tonight, a 44-year-old, federal attorney from Royal Oak. 

We went to Flemmings in Birmingham.  The suggestion made me nervous.  What if he arrived and thought "From the neck way" and stuck me with the bill?  Assuming the tab would put me in the red right before rent is due.  So, I would be broke, single and still under suspicion with my parents at Christmas.

I arrived early, which allotted time to ensure my short skirt was covering the girdle portion of my tights, and you ask, "why is she single?"  Then...he ARRIVED.  His body followed his collagen-injected lips.  Anyone ever seen Bravo's "Flipping Out?" I spent approximately 2 hours with Jeff Lewis's twin.  Most of my time was devoted, when not drinking 3/4 of the wine, determining if he had had a face lift.

He "quenched" his "lust for some meat" (direct quote) while I picked at some salmon and filled up on Pinot Noir.  Truthfully, I think he was hoping I was lusting for some meat.  He made many straight-forward sexual comments and/or references. One being "Have you ever had a lesbian encounter?"

The date ended with the bill in his hands, garlic breath and a rushed goodbye at the valet stand. He followed with these words of advice: "Time is of the essence. You have a lot of men to meet yet."


This 60's and 70's flashback will end on Saturday with an Italian man from the old country (in more ways than one), 38, from Plymouth.

Ciao for now.


Tuesday, November 23, 2010

The Lions are Really Awful

Yesterday marked the full first week of this new venture. I will admit, there are times where I wouldn't mind trading places with Morgan Spurlock and eating McDonald's at every meal for 30 days instead. 

Or have I already done that?

At least an Egg McMuffin or, if I lost the will to live, a McRib wouldn't say "you're(or your) my kind of girl" and "I have a great sense of humor" or hope that I'm "having a great week."

On an uplifting not, I had a pretty wonderful time on my date with Strawberry Fields last night.  Oopsth, skipped out on drinks with Scott(?), 29, Royal Oak.

He gave me a tour of Detroit (didn't dump my body!) and ate my last taco...that I prepared for him. What?!  We had dinner in Mexican town!  The setting in my driveway, when he dropped me off later that night, was perfect for a make out...rain, steamy car, Steve Wonder playing (yes, he knows where I live and work and I know where he lives and works).  Sadly, I'm not Molly Ringwald and it didn't happen.  But, our parting words were "let's definitely do this again" and friend request from him on Facebook followed 30 minutes later.  I don't know about him, but I'm ready to mate. 

Oh, and, did I mention I'm being stalked by one of the Lions?  I want to believe it's someone pretending to be him.  But, wouldn't they pick someone more notable or better looking than Dan Gerberry?  After receiving this second message from him, found below, I think I'll politely say "no, thanks" and forgo the chance at Lions' season tickets.

"Ok heres my deal. Im not sure how to get your attention and respond to me but i guess ill tell you about me and then you can keep not given me a chance or you can. Im dan, im a 25 year old guy who lives up here in detroit. I play football for a living with the lions. Im originally from youngstown ohio, and i went to ball state. I graduated with my bachelors in education. And the most important thing about me is that im pretty awesome. Sooooo if theres anything else you want to knwo just ask. Im just tryin to meet a nice girl up here. All the girls i meet think im something that im not. Let me know"


Sunday, November 21, 2010

Weekend Roundup

It was a two-date and a lot of pizza kind of weekend.  Friday night hosted the big date with the Hoff.  Are big dates usually two hours?  Yes, the date with the Hoff, 32, of Plymouth ended with "if I don't talk to you before Thanksgiving..." and an ass-out hug.

I think I've dated enough to know that he won't be meeting my parents.  Despite being the ideal mate of the "good on paper" variety, the in-person effect was dry and unmoving.  After trapsing around Royal Oak to find an open place, I could probably find more information about him lurking on his Facebook profile for 15 minutes, than over the two drink maximum we shared together.  Fortunately, the waitress with a bad perm and pleated-front khakis offered more awkwardness than any lulls in our conversation.  He did, however, discretely lick his teeth a few times...did I have lipstick on my teeth?  Or maybe he left early because I wasn't capitalizing on his sexual innuendo?

This afternoon was spent, well, an hour and a half of it, with an engineer, 33, of West Bloomfield at the Franklin Cider Mill.  The conversation flowed with ease, but more like straight guy with high school girlfriend turned lesbian.  When he made eye contact his face looked very startled too. Is it my haunting good looks?  Or the booger I neglected to check after my shower?  Or his love for numbers?  Or seeing his future children in my eyes?  After my abrupt end to the date, of throwing my empty drink container in the trash, we got in our cars and drove away and out of each other's life.

This week may prove to be an interesting start to Thanksgiving.  Drinks tomorrow, better check his name again, and possible dinner date with a ginger on Tuesday (I actually really, really love Strawberry Fields, so eager for that lad).

Was telling someone "wearing my wedding dress and drinking wine" last night via IM, when asked what I was doing, in bad taste?  Thanks to GanMan for the idea.


Friday, November 19, 2010


Productivity is a word that whispers in all of our ears frequently.  Oh, best believe, I will some how interject the economy into this blog.  Measurable, successful output is harped upon in our professional lives, but how does that translate to dating?

When dating goes digital, "successful" metrics can be tracked.  I can confidentially say, this has been a productive and successful first week for me (for my work...not so much...oopsth).

It's been productive in a way that I'm starting to feel like a piece of meat.  I haven't gotten this much attention since I'd pranced around dollar beer night in college, with my orangest tan and shortest distressed denim mini, with a nip*cough*ring*cough*.

Alright lets get quantitative, people.  To-date the stats are:

48 men have contacted (messaged) me
80 men (approximately) have winked at me (I feel like that's the equivalent to an HPV tree)
35 men have shown "interest"
283 profile views
3 in-the-near-future dates (today, Monday and Tuesday)
2 co-workers
1 military officer, who has served 24 years for our country, looking for a "reason to come home" and "I'm very pretty"

Sounds like Mariah Carey's next Christmas hit, huh?

Tonight, is the big drinks date with the Hoff of Plymouth.  He is coming to me and plans to wear an Elvis costume to be immediately identifiable.  He is rather witty and I hope it doesn't turn into a dual of "who is funnier" because he will be lying in a pool of blood on G'Nite Gracies floor...or just covered in a Bloody Mary martini.

Honestly, I'm quite excited about the event and have consulted a handful of individuals, male and female, regarding outfit choices.  Having been on a dating drought, I tend to dress more for straight females than straight males.

Pretty sure it's going to be a full moon.  Have a nice weekend, all(s).  Don't do anything I WOULD do.


Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Dating in the Work Place

Dating in the work place is no longer taboo.  Especially where I'm employed; there are work relationships, marriages, babies and Chlamydia, and not necessarily in that order.

But what if it takes online dating to bring co-workers together?  Today I logged in to find someone I work with, and send impatient and snide emails to a couple times, a month showed "Interest."  I don't know what that function means...maybe a passive "wink?"

I was tempted to message him, "Hey, if you want to get to know me I sit up in phase one." or "Give me a ring, my direct dial is in your inbox." or "Did you find similarities between this profile picture and the one of me on the company Intranet?"

Later, yes, I log in more than once a today, and ANOTHER co-worker had looked at my profile. 

As if online dating sites aren't a feeding ground for creeps, you can actually see who looks at your profile.  Ironically, I think he did it while we both upstairs in the lounge together.  This is where I escape to look at bikini pics of a girl from high school who used to Pentecostal (read: long hair in 1900's bun and long skirts) or do other online searches (think signs of pregnancy) that are generally deemed work inappropriate.

Oh, that phone date...completely stood ME up, and de-friend me on Facebook.  He better hope I don't see him at Dick O'Dow's this weekend.

However, I may possibly be "doing drinks" this Friday with the first person I messaged. You know, the one who likes the Hoff (I just like to eat burgers off the floor like the Hoff). He is entertained by match, is aware of the Outback $10.99 surf 'n' turf special and we share the same birthday. Sounds like I'll be writing his last name with my first name in my high school composition book in no time.

I will part with the IM conversation I had last night with a state employee from Wixom.  Disclaimer:  Read before bed, the tedious nature will have you snoozing in no time.


9:55 - joshuac517 says:
hi how are you?
 9:55 - Kath1226 says:
fine thanks, and you?
 9:55 - joshuac517 says:
im fine thanks
 9:56 - joshuac517 says:
how was your day?
 9:56 - Kath1226 says:
it was busy, and i'm new to this, so it was an added distraction
 9:56 - Kath1226 says:
and you?
 9:57 - joshuac517 says:
it was ok, had training for work
 9:58 - Kath1226 says:
you were training?
 9:59 - joshuac517 says:
for work, i work for the state, what do you do?
 9:59 - Kath1226 says:
i work at at an online promotions' agency
 9:59 - Kath1226 says:
what do you do for the state?
 10:00 - joshuac517 says:
qualify people for govt assistance like food stamps
 10:00 - Kath1226 says:
that's probably pretty busy
 10:00 - joshuac517 says:
yeah the economy isnt getting any better
 10:02 - Kath1226 says:
it's not an overnight process
 10:02 - Kath1226 says:
however, where i'm at we are thriving actually
 10:02 - joshuac517 says:
i know, just saying
 10:03 - joshuac517 says:
thats good
 10:04 - joshuac517 says:
whats your personality like?
 10:04 - Kath1226 says:
pretty fun
 10:04 - Kath1226 says:
 10:04 - Kath1226 says:
most people would say i'm outgoing and a good time
 10:04 - Kath1226 says:
 10:05 - joshuac517 says:
good deal, im outgoing as well, have a great sense of humor
 10:05 - Kath1226 says:
so how long have you been doing this?
 10:06 - joshuac517 says:
a few months
 10:06 - Kath1226 says:
any luck?
 10:07 - joshuac517 says:
i have went on some dates but nothing solid
 10:08 - joshuac517 says:
what are your interests?
 10:09 - Kath1226 says:
i like spending time with friends locally and a far, design, sports events, concerts/live music
 10:09 - Kath1226 says:
 10:10 - joshuac517 says:
i love music and sports as well, working out, reading
 10:11 - Kath1226 says:
you from wixom originally?
 10:11 - joshuac517 says:
no im from lansing and you?
 10:11 - Kath1226 says:
 10:11 - joshuac517 says:
i know brighton
 10:11 - Kath1226 says:

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Are you a dog or cat person...or....tarantulas???

"I love animals, but will only keep those that can have a reasonable lifestyle. House cats and dogs are good, but I won't keep a bird. I have kept a tarantula in the past, but not in years."

Reasonable lifestyle?  As in, fold their laundry and put their dishes in the dishwasher?  I know what you are thinking.  "Why is she not shacked up in a love den of tarantulas with this man already?" (I mean, not to mention it again, I've read American Psycho twice). I'm holding out for a wink from him before I make any moves.

A wink, you ask?  It's like a poke or saying "hey Qt" or "holla at me shawty."  Well it doesn't say that in the by-laws of the site, but that's what I read it as.

As an aside: Wasn't poking for when you didn't have the gull to just contact someone you drunkenly sucked face with on a Thursday in college? Maybe that was a confession and not a question?

I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm already thoroughly enjoying this new experience.  My work has fallen victim to, yet again, another digital distraction.

The quantity of entertainment heavily outweighs the quality of men.  Although, I have successfully corresponded with three (3) men (cyber SLUT!), have a phone date with one tonight and a message in my inbox pending a response.

However, I'm a little perturbed by the phone date.  He asked me via email "Are you affectionate? UofM or MSU?"  To which I responded, "I'm not overly affectionate to either school."  We all know that's not what he meant, but it's OK, that comment made me uncomfortable and sweaty too.

I find myself often saying it's a Small World. Yes, I'm slowly turning into my mother  But I don't like when that term is applied to online dating.  For those of you who don't know, I used to work at golf courses.  Yes, plural.  I worked at them for so many years, that they have played a hand in shaping who I am today.

No, really, this is getting somewhere.  Recall I mentioned I've received a message pending a response.  The sender used to work with me at one of these said golf courses, oh, ten years ago.  However, his love handles, voluminous hair and blatant homosexuality were raging at that time. 

The hair and love handles are significantly less, but the interest in men burns like the herp.

Possible response: "Would you like to get together and wear our matching blue Hartland Glen polos? Powerwash a few carts?"  or "Do you love chicken tenders and pink lemonade like it's 2000?"

Until the next noteworthy moment in my digital get down,


Monday, November 15, 2010

Baby's First Match

This weekend I jammed...jammed to my fav tunes of the mid-90's to the early TWO-THOUSANDS (please know the Conan reference small fan base).  One of my favorite pop jams during this time frame was...nevermind, IS "Digital Getdown" by the beloved boy group sensation, N'Sync.

Today, I got digitally down.  No, that doesn't mean I showed my breasts on Chat Roulette for a techie to pick off the G4 network; I joined 

Yes, I may very well be like the girls in the commercials, giggling with some WASP-y type male in a cozy booth at a local steak joint.  However, there is a greater cause to this new digital frontier. 

First and foremost, it's a digital world and I am a digital girl.  I diagnose myself, or convince myself I have the HIV, on webMD.  I lord over a late model Dell laptop 8 hours a day at work.  The premise of approximately 68 percent of my convos is "I saw on Facebook" or "did you see on Facebook."  However, when the conversation, as it so frequently does as I get older, sways to online dating, my bottom line is "I'm not ready for it."  Well, ready or not men of Southeast Michigan, and me, here I am.

I'm here to date.  Here to drink coffee more than I ever would before, here to accidentally slip and share with a potential suitor that, yes, I have read "American Psycho" twice and it's in my Top 5 of favorite movies, here to closet my occasional delight in a cigarette and here to share my experience with my beloved friends, or people who, *fingers crossed*, look at my Facebook profile and don't even know me.

My dad always told me the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting the same results.  Yet, I'm pretty sure he didn't mean my approach to meeting a man.  It was more in regards to my inability to grasp the Pythagorean Theorem or not being the ultimate softball player (I'm really ok that the latter didn't work out).

At this point in my life, why not see what this online dating thing is about?  It's better than trying it on my own and going out with someone who says "I'm almost in my mid-thirties" (read 39) and would rather see Peter Gabriel naked, while jamming on their guitars, than me.

Oh, and I'm doing it cause Meg, a dear friend from work, is "making" me.  And, as our office instant messenger chats reveal, I need a co-signer.  Meg, you are my co-signer in this endeavor and the five of you still reading will see her analysis in future posts.  Furthermore, her dear friend Holly conceived the name for this blog.

So at the gates of Heaven, I'll just say "Meg Made Me Do It."

Finally, there are ground rules.  I mean, c'mon, it's that or I'll be out with guys who keep heads in their freezer.  They are as follows:

1. (except men south of 8 mile and east of Middlebelt, that is my caveat)

2. Two email correspondences warrant a coffee invite on my behalf.  I'm hoping this part doesn't happen much.  Coffee turns me into Whitney Houston during her marriage to Bobbie Brown.  "I don't buy crack, crack is cheap."  "Where are these receipts?"

3. The blog will NOT be a topic of convo on any date.

4.  This won't be like "How to Lose a Guys in 10 Days."  So, no, I won't be doing it in the bathroom with Matthew Mcconaughey after beating him in Bullsh*t.

To part with...please find my first message to a fellow tailgate enthusiast in Plymouth.  Who apparently dances like David Hassellhoff.  His dating headline is "Have we met at the Grocery store."  If that's Taco Bell, then, yes, yes we have.

Did you see the Roast of Hoff?
If you didn't, my heart breaks for you. However, knowing Comedy Central, you'll be able to catch it again.
Maybe we met at the grocery store. I was probably perplexed as to what kind of hummus to buy. In any event, you profile is intriguing. If you mine is dually intriguing, please feel free to flatter me :)
Look forward to chatting soon.
I don't know if I'm supposed to put my real name, but my username is kath1226.