Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Are you a dog or cat person...or....tarantulas???

"I love animals, but will only keep those that can have a reasonable lifestyle. House cats and dogs are good, but I won't keep a bird. I have kept a tarantula in the past, but not in years."

Reasonable lifestyle?  As in, fold their laundry and put their dishes in the dishwasher?  I know what you are thinking.  "Why is she not shacked up in a love den of tarantulas with this man already?" (I mean, not to mention it again, I've read American Psycho twice). I'm holding out for a wink from him before I make any moves.

A wink, you ask?  It's like a poke or saying "hey Qt" or "holla at me shawty."  Well it doesn't say that in the by-laws of the site, but that's what I read it as.

As an aside: Wasn't poking for when you didn't have the gull to just contact someone you drunkenly sucked face with on a Thursday in college? Maybe that was a confession and not a question?

I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm already thoroughly enjoying this new experience.  My work has fallen victim to, yet again, another digital distraction.

The quantity of entertainment heavily outweighs the quality of men.  Although, I have successfully corresponded with three (3) men (cyber SLUT!), have a phone date with one tonight and a message in my inbox pending a response.

However, I'm a little perturbed by the phone date.  He asked me via email "Are you affectionate? UofM or MSU?"  To which I responded, "I'm not overly affectionate to either school."  We all know that's not what he meant, but it's OK, that comment made me uncomfortable and sweaty too.

I find myself often saying it's a Small World. Yes, I'm slowly turning into my mother every.day.  But I don't like when that term is applied to online dating.  For those of you who don't know, I used to work at golf courses.  Yes, plural.  I worked at them for so many years, that they have played a hand in shaping who I am today.

No, really, this is getting somewhere.  Recall I mentioned I've received a message pending a response.  The sender used to work with me at one of these said golf courses, oh, ten years ago.  However, his love handles, voluminous hair and blatant homosexuality were raging at that time. 

The hair and love handles are significantly less, but the interest in men burns like the herp.

Possible response: "Would you like to get together and wear our matching blue Hartland Glen polos? Powerwash a few carts?"  or "Do you love chicken tenders and pink lemonade like it's 2000?"

Until the next noteworthy moment in my digital get down,


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